Be Still

He is almost never still and quiet.  He is full of life, love, laughter, energy and imagination and I love him with every single piece of my heart.  He is forever my Rustin.

As we enter Christmas I pray that we can all take the time to be still and savor those around us...experiencing the love of the season.


"Be Still and Know that I am God."- Psalm 46:10

Snow in November

A little snow on the ground made these two monkeys very happy before school this morning!  Love you to the moon and back sweet boys!

Because You are You...

You've always been so special.  You are Ryder and there is really no better way to describe you.   In those first few months after you were born, you cried a lot.  In the years following those first few months,  you were (and still are) always moving and very inquisitive.  Hot wheels and games of tag don't interest you.  You want more than that.  You want to know how things work and the why behind what makes things happen.  You're not the least bit shy and definitely aren't afraid to speak to others.  It doesn't scare you to be called out for touching things that don't belong to you (so long as it is for the sake of finding out how something works).  Things that make me cringe will never bother you...you are practical and yet it doesn't take away from the kindness you exude almost always.

I'm not gonna lie.  You make me crazy some days.  Saturday was one of those days.  You couldn't resist the temptations that kept falling in front of you.  Pushing call buttons at the zoo, switching off lights in the bathrooms, turning on heated seats in the car, jumping off a set of bleachers at the soccer fields to see if you could land without falling.  Sometimes the calling of your name or saying "Ryder NO" repeatedly makes me tired....I find myself saying a lot these days "You are old enough to know better."....and a friend of ours followed that up on Saturday with "And yet still too young to care.".  I needed to hear that and I have to remind myself even more so that it is just the way God made you.

Your Grandpa was one of the most patient people when it came to you.  He was not always patient about other things, but he had all the patience in the world for you.  When we grew tired, he would always jump in with a trip to the car wash or help climbing a tree.  I miss him.  I miss his voice, I miss his advice, I miss knowing he would save us if something bad happened, I miss Saturday car rides when you'd beg Daddy to call him on speaker in the truck, I miss him a lot...and I know you miss him even more.

 Last night we lit a candle for him at church in remembrance of his life.  After we got home...you were tucked away in bed and your Dad showed me a video.  A video he found that you took of  your Grandpa shortly before he went to heaven.  Ryder...I've never been so thankful that you touched something that didn't belong to you.  I've never been so thankful that you have a desire to learn how to operate things.  I love you more than you'll ever know.  May you always be inquisitive, and  may you always have the hunger to know more...because that is exactly who you were made to be.

This was your Grandpa.  This is why you loved him so.  Grandpa's name went into our book of life yesterday, but he will always live in the land of remembrance because of moments like this.

Halloween 2014

 Rustin (Dave the Minion)- 5 years old

Ryder (the Scooby Doo Ghost)- 7 years old

 Happiest of Halloween's from our family to yours!

Pumpkin Patch 2014

Today you were just two boys in a patch of pumpkins.  You are loud, you are crazy, you never stop moving,  and you rarely ever tire...but I wouldn't have it any other way.  Love you to the moon and back a trillion times...and that my monkeys is a lot of loving!

Happy Birthday Sweet Boy

 Today as we are still mourning the loss of a huge piece of our family puzzle, we have to pause and give thanks for the sweetest gift in the world God could of given us 7-years ago today.  As Ryder watched his Grandma weep yesterday....he sat with her.  Through her tears she said,  "Ryder- I wish Grandpa could hold me again and give me one more kiss".....he gently leaned into her, wrapped his arms around her, and gently kissed her cheek saying, "I'm here.  I'll do it for Grandpa." All I can think is how thankful that sweet man must be in heaven, that your still on this earth helping to carry out any loose ends left undone... like kissing his love one last time.  Happy Birthday my angel on earth...we'd all be very lost without your love.

I know you want Grandpa here for your birthday today...and I promise he is...I can hear him from Heaven saying, "Happy Birthday, Ryder!  Grandpa Loves You!".

Broken

I am without words.  We are devastated.  Life is entirely too short.  Without any notice we lost our patriarch.  My husband's father was one of the best men in the entire world.  It is hard to put one foot in front of the other today and I'm left here wondering if tomorrow will be any easier.  Please keep us in your prayers.

Grandpa at Rustin's 5th birthday party on September 7, 2014.