Another month down and I'm not exactly sure where it went. It was full of school, swim lessons, travel and baseball for the first time. Last month, our house was just a place we all came together to sleep in. Everyone tells me it only gets worse the older they get...and then its gone. They leave...off to live their very own grown up lives.
I'm not sure exactly what I'll do when that day comes...I'll probably despise the silence which is ironic because most days I despise the very loud noise that comes out of these two little boys. I'll probably look at my husband and try to remember the details and what it was like to be just the two of us...what it was like the first time God placed us in each others paths...before we began building this life that we are blessed to live. I pray that the people we are when that day comes are so much bigger than the people we were when we first met...so much bigger than we are this very day and so much bigger than who we will be five years from now. God made us imperfect people and we need Him to make us better...its a life-long work and I feel sure we will never see a perfect self but He sees it in us..its buried inside and every day we can shovel off the dirt. We can work on bringing that buried, inner beauty to the surface.
At our house, we say almost every day...."Smith's don't quit. Smith's never give up. You are a Smith and Smith's don't give up." We say these words to our boys, BUT I need to say this to myself more often. Never give up on myself, never give up on who I want to be, on who I know God wants me to be.
In explaining the season of Lent to our boys, it was hard for us to tell them to "Give something up" when we work so hard on not giving up every day. So this Lenten season...the forty days leading up to Easter...I am challenging our little family to not "give up" but to give...to give our whole selves to Him and to those around us. I am challenging us to be the best Smith's we can be and to not compare ourselves to anyone except the unique person God made us to be. I am challenging us to be a better wife, husband, mother, father, daughter, son, sister, brother and friend.
I introduced this idea to them this morning and as an incentive to be the best we can all be, I showed them this jar.
I told them we will add coins (or dollars depending on the crime) from each of our savings anytime we aren't the best people we can be. I can assure you we will be adding coins every, single day. The jar will be a physical representation of how we are all a work in progress. On Easter we'll give everything in the jar as an offering and we will hopefully have gained many, many steps towards being a better "Smith".