I'm walking this morning because it makes my legs feel so much better. When I sit, the ache settles in nice and deep. I've taken on a journey I haven't talked much about. I'm running. Physically running and going distances further than I ever imagined possible.
In so many ways it is therapeutic. I fall into a zone and am totally on my own and with my own thoughts. I have no stress except for getting to the next mile. I don't think about who needs help in the bathroom, or getting a cup of strawberry milk. I don't worry about emails or remembering to schedule an appointment or pay a bill. I'm alone and a lot of the time alone with Him. Uninterrupted conversation with God. It feels so good.
Being totally honest...then it hurts. Once I get beyond my comfort
zone...beyond a distance I've completed before. Its a mental game in my
head. I've done this before, I can do it again. It's only 2 more
miles than my last run...I can do 2 miles...I own 2 miles. Yesterday,
my body didn't let my mind win. I felt it start to tighten and succumb
That was the number of miles I was supposed to run yesterday. I fell slightly short of that goal stopping at 16.3, but I won't give up. I am constantly reminding myself of what we remind the boys....that Smith's don't give up.
I have two very good friends and mentors that run with me. I honestly stand in awe of them. I'm not sure how
they do it...not sure where they pull the strength from. Just when I feel sure I'm
about to die right there on the sidewalk and this is not what I should be doing...they look their
strongest. I couldn't continue without them...I never imagined this new-found sport would place great friends in my life...but it has...and then I realize maybe that is God's purpose for sending me on these crazy, long runs that send me into hobbling recoveries and leave me wondering if I'll make it through to the next training run. He led me to amazing friends...the ones who run with me and the ones who continue to push me on the sidelines always boosting my confidence. And...He's shown me a side of my husband I've never seen.
Matt truly loves me and is so proud of me. He selflessly takes care of the boys, completes loads of laundry, organizes cabinets, picks up scattered toys and dog messes from the backyard all so I can run and not worry about these things when I get back. Yesterday...he asked me if I was o.k. I was having trouble getting my energy level back to normal. Lets be honest...I was a hobbling mess. I told him not to be worried...I had done it to myself. Quite frankly...I'd be more than irritated if he ran himself to the point that he couldn't help me on the weekend. He knows this. His response was...I care about you and I have a big heart (with a nod of his head & slightly sarcastic tone in his big heart comment...Anyone who knows him knows what I'm talking about.)..then he followed it up seriously...saying, I'm so proud of what you have accomplished so far.
Wow. Am I worthy of him? Gosh...I hope so.
So its out there. My goal is 26.2. Its a personal goal...it'll make me stronger physically and mentally. 26.2 is so much bigger than 17 and my life is so much bigger because of this goal and the people who surround me while I work to accomplish it.
Feeling crazy, blessed...