Tuesday, December 20, 2011

All grown up but sometimes I feel little bitty....

I'm 34 today.  All grown up by most standards, but there are still moments that I feel little bitty.  I was just finishing up a post yesterday, mostly pictures and not a lot of thought, when I received a phone call.  It was a friend of mine, who goes all the way back to our high school days.  It was a phone call nobody wants to receive.  I couldn't catch my breath.  My stomach immediately turned upside down and a huge lump formed in my throat.   I didn't understand, I couldn't believe and told her as much.  I asked questions and talked out loud, often repeating myself trying to make sense of things in my head.

Something terrible has happened to one of our friends.  Its been almost 24 full hours since I received that phone call and I still can't wrap my head around the news.  I still can't understand. I still feel little bitty.

I have always been in awe of the McClenahans.  If you haven't or don't follow their blog, I encourage you to.  The author inspires me.  She has persevered through times that would've driven me into a hole...a dark place far away from outside world.  Instead, Jess has stayed forever positive and faithful...she never doubts God or His purpose.

I know my sweet friend doesn't doubt His purpose either.  It is o.k. to question "why?".  It is o.k. to be heartbroken and weary.   Faith will carry us through.   Luke 17:6 And the Lord said, "If you had faith like a mustard seed, you would say to this mulberry tree, 'Be uprooted and be planted in the sea'; and it would obey you."

I wish I could make everything better....but I can't.   I wish I could comprehend why terrible things happen to good people....but I can't.  Psalm 34:18 says:  "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."  and  Psalm 63:3 says: "Because Your loving kindness is better than life, My lips will praise You."   May these words provide comfort when it seems impossible.

I PRAY for healing.  I PRAY for strength, love, answers.  I PRAY for peace.   You're not alone, forever surrounded by love.... on the minds and in the hearts of many my sweet friend.


Sarah's Slate said...

Hi there. I know you don't know me, and I don't know you. But Im Sarah. I have babysat Marys the past three years and have grown very close to their family, even planning on having Charlie as my flower girl for my wedding this coming June. I just wanted to write you a note letting you know how encouraging this post and verses were to my heart tonight. Nobody has really been able to say anything to bring me even an ounce of peace and i don't know how or why I came across your blog, because I've never read it, just seen you comment on some of Marys posts, but I thank Him for leading me to it. Your words and encouragement calmed my heart tonight. God bless you and your family.