Five years ago today, I had the honor of watching you take your very first breath. You were beautiful, plump, blue eyed and smelled like bliss. I held you in my arms and couldn't quite grasp the amazing gift God had just given me.
I am having a little bit of trouble with you turning five. You realize it, too. You told me..."It's o.k. Mom. You'll still sing me lullabies when I turn five...and I'll still give you kisses.". You can bring happy tears to my eyes quicker than anyone in this world.
Tonight as we were riding home in the car you said..."Mommy...I have to tell you something that makes me sad. Eden's Daddy went to heaven last year. She keeps him close to her heart because she loves and misses him a lot.".
A knot swelled in my throat when I heard you say these words....Eden is in your preschool class. I told you that Eden's Daddy loves her very much and that he is still with her even though she can't see him or touch him anymore. You asked me where Jesus keeps all of the people when he brings them to Heaven. I told you all about heaven....I described to you that it is a big and beautiful place. We talked about how nobody is sick or hurts in Heaven. You said really softly..."I'll miss you when you're in Heaven, Mommy.".
I am blessed. So incredibly blessed to have spent the last five years with you. I pray that God blesses me with fifty more birthdays with you. I love you more than you love trips to the car-wash, riding with the windows down, going bowling, eating pizza, sitting outside with a rainbow sno-cone, Sonic's blue slushes, McDonald's chicken nuggets and french fries, using the Ipad, talking on my phone, playing outside, building whole Chuggington tracks with Daddy, sleeping with baby Pluto, being a brother to Rustin, and spending time with your cousins. In other words, I love you to the moon and back....now THAT is a lot of loving.
Happy Birthday, Bear! I hope five is all you thought it would be...you are officially my big boy now.
2 comments:
Seriously sobbing!!!! Beautifully written, Joy!! Something he will cherish forever!!!!!
Happy Birthday Ryder! I have to admit "5" is gonna sting a little in this house too! As much as I enjoy seeing my big boy grow... it's bittersweet! Sweet post friend!
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