Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Tasty Tuesday

Hmmmm....so I don't have a recipe in mind for this week. It seems like cooking has been on the back burner and I am not real sure why. Life seems so crazy, but really it isn't. I feel like I am in a rut, but more likely I am just tired. When both boys finally tire out at the same time...I find myself perusing the computer instead of doing useful things like laundry, COOKING, paying bills, etc... Please tell me I am not alone.

The days and weeks have flown by since Plus One got here. Every week seems to be jam packed with little errands and impromptu things to do...I always say that next week will be calmer, but it never seems to be. I count my blessings for every minute I have with both of my children, but most days I feel like the end of the day arrives with minimal "quality" time spent with either. After fulfilling their basic needs and handling all of the little details around the house as well any work responsibilities (few as they may be..there are still some), where is the time for one-on-one fun?

Sometimes, I think that if I worked outside of the home, I'd actually spend more time with them than I do by being with them all day. Translation: I feel sure I take for granted that I have all day to spend with them and actually waste away some of our quality time. If I only saw them at night...would I be a better Mom? Would I treasure my time with them more knowing that I would be missing them the next day? Would Ryder spend less time being frustrated with me..would I spend less time being frustrated with his new-found 2-year old stubborn independence? I want him to know right from wrong and grow to be a respectful, loving creature of God. It breaks my heart on the days that he spends countless little bouts by himself for an attitude adjustment as seen in the above picture...I just hope that he is learning what good is and gains a "Happy Heart" as I heard my friend Lisa tell her daughter one day this past summer.

I don't fully know the answers to these questions. But I can positively say that I wouldn't trade leaving my 50 hour a week day job to stay home with my kids for the world. My husband makes this possible..he is an amazing man in case I haven't mentioned that before. A beautiful blessing was handed to me when we figured out that I could consult part-time, on my own, from our house and stay here with Ryder. I give God thanks for every minute he gives me with each of my boys. I pray that our time together is cherished by them as much as it is by me and that it will leave a positive footprint on their little lives.

No recipe today...but I'll think hard and get one up here soon! Thank you Blogger for always letting me get these things off of my chest...you are the best!


Anonymous said...

I remember all too well, Joy, the feeling of not doing anything "well." Especially after Tatum was born, it felt like I was doing everything half-way. Even so, I was wiped-out at the end of every day.

There is so much mental energy that goes into the logistics of taking care of two little kids. You are having to re-work the timing of everything, re-think the packing rituals, re-think the meal-time order of operations, re-think safety, re-think bed/bath time... including bed/bath time for you!

A lot of times, especially early on, nap time was the only time my brain could shut off for a bit. Don't be too hard on yourself... it can't help but feel a tad like survival mode in the beginning, no matter how hard you work at keeping a positive attitude.

You are doing a great job, keep it up momma, it will become easier VERY soon. Just today, my kids ate the same thing for breakfast- VICTORY! ;-)